happy hari raya to all my malay perps~

work was great as usual with sha~
we met many nice ppl today~
oh boy..i jus found out how nice helipad is..
nice place to chill with great scenery n cool breeze..

beautiful scenery frm helipad


how i wish u were there with mi...
we shall go sometime tgt..

done with work..
rush home on cabby to take car n out i went to return a favor..
even though it was jus a simple chat session..
but i was really content..cux i still feel the love..
all i can say is..i'm jus outside ur door, the door to ur heart...
i'll be waiting, waitin for tat door to open fully for mi to enter...
off to bed..tmr's gonna be assignment day..
nitex

hari raya eve...

sch was boring..credits to patricia n her boring teaching style...
after lesson down to ps for quick dinner..
clap clap for myself cux i finished a big bowl of yong tau foo soup..
off to meet sha for work..
lucky all oulets were super co-operative today..
stock check was smooth..
trainin was fun..great staff today = awesome easy job done...
work usuall ends great at chinaone~
with great n fun loving staff...lika big family=)
cab home after work..
bath n couldnt slp...

ytd @timbre~

hmmm...
my life..
have been topsy turvy indeed..
but one thing is for sure...
i still hav u inside my heart..permanent...
tat hug tat nite became my motivator..
ur scent jus lingers...i try my best to nt forget the warmth n scent..
i dun wanna forget it...i wanna keep it..
if i can i wish to keep it with mi..forever...
i miss u..really do..
seeing u affected emotionally, makes mi feel so helpless..
i wanna be there..be the one,
be ur sandbag to rant at when u're pissed..
be ur pillow when u need to hug something...
be ur one to talk to when feelin stress or down..
confuse u might be...let mi be ur guiding light...
let mi clear ur messy route..
jus let mi stay with u...

how long can i keep this fake smile..till the day i get u back den will i smile more naturally..

silly i might sound but i actually dun mind all things ur colleague brought up..
cux all i need is just for u to let me be by ur side..
i love u and i will nv change..
Long weekend ahead..
which was supposed to be spent with u..
snugglin in bed..
slping over..
late nite supper @ 511..
nonsense chit chat topics...
massage sessions..
lovey dovey session..
i miss them all~!!!

enuff of emo tok..
gotta try to head to slp..
tmr's gonna work again..
dear elysha/sha sha...grow strong!
cheer up tgt with mi..
see u in a while~

gdnitex bloggie<3

silence....

it's been a long day....
suddenly for today..
in class...a tot strike mi...
suddenly i dun feel like studyin no more..
i dun have the feel for studies..
my god...i dunno why but this tot jus surfaced n stay thru out my lecture...

the injury frm my fall is getting bad...
big big baduku with scratches...
makes walkin alil sore...

after lesson ended...
bus down to bsh with wifey to meet cussie song...
it's been ages since we last met up...
he said i look different...skinny ttm...
he too look skinny but he's is becux of exercise...
mine..shall nt mention it...
toastbox for our 1st meal...

laksa n mee siam

hot drinks to warm tummy in this chilly weather...

after which off to shop around..
it's been sometime since i last shopped...
got some accessories frm diva..
train n bus home there after...

to wifey: i uds and knw u meant well for mi...i knw i gt u frustrated..sorry...but sometimes..somethings is worth being stubborn for? i mean i'm taking my chance seriously nw..
one more time to work hard for myself...so tat when i look back in future..i wont leave to regret cux i did all i can for this...yup...i knw u love mi n wan the best for mi..but i guess this is wat i wan n i will nt regret..i dun ask for u to support mi...but at least jus stand by me..jus have to be there n i knw u will be...love u n smile more too...let's smile tgt=)

to darling: i haven heard anything frm u since after we met...i wonder how are things for u...ur test i'm sure u did well...more to cum i guess...study hard den...this is wat ur dream is, so jia you n work towards ur goal..jus wan u to knw i'll always be here, giving u my support...dun tired urself out too much...tc...

off to bed..
tmr's gonna head back to sch for project..
toodles

happy weekend=)

my very 1st happy weekend..
after sometime of emo-in...

well...
for sat...
headed down to bugis to acc mummy buy some necessities...
mummy bought mi a backpack~ easy for mi to carry heavy textbk to sch...
den after which..mummy headed home while i head down to orchard to meet darling=)

he was with his colleague ash, nice n funny guy...
acc them to walk around..shopping for their cabin n cargo bags, shoes...
darling finally got his s95=) fidget with it for sometime..nice cammie..mine shall be change soon once i have the $$$...
met tian by chance too with kj...
lil catch up session..den separate ways we went..
the guys headed back to collect their bags den they cab home...
while i bus to tpy, pass cal stuff..chit chat awhile den home swt home...
clumsy mi was being followed by ah neh...scared tat i was! i jus walk faster n faster till..nv see where i walk and fell..heck care abt my injury n jus run straight to the lift...

ouch...

rest for around 1.5hrs den i'm out again to fetch daddy off work..

still remember the days where darling will be busy with game, i will drop by with the car n some koi for awhile before headin to fetch dad home...yup..
even though it was a short meetin but boy i'm glad i got to see u...
many days of antagonizing mood n finally i feel all better...

sunday which is today was a much simpler one...
asked mummy to acc mi down to comex to buy my netbk n harddisk..

the place was madness..crowded with ppl..we didnt went upstairs..
jus gt wateva i need at the mini fair area on lvl 1...
after which den to mountbatten for dinner...
when has it becum a torture to be eatin for mi..i was struggling to finish a plate of rice in which last time i could easily ate 2...
gotta feed myself more becux silly doesnt like mi too skinny...
gotta grow fat~

although for today it's back to silence...
i'm lucky to have mummy to jk n make mi smile...

my very pretty mummy(she ask mi to write tat)

starin at my phone..keepin it close...waitin..jus for tat one msg..
my motivation..well...one step at a time..at least it's better den previous days?
i hope i hadnt lost u too far away..
i'll try to catch up frm where i fell..
i promise..

nitex

day 9...

i jus wish for a holiday...
i jus hope to go on a holiday with u...
jus u and mi and a beautiful vacation...
forget abt all frustration n stress...jus relax and enjoy couple holiday...
i keep havin this strong feel tat things will work out eventually...
it's jus whether or nt u're willing to try..
i mean i've already gone all out to grab hold of u..
all i need is jus for u to give it a try and hold onto mi once again..
the future i painted when we 1st started...
i see us loving each other till the day we grow old n die..

u told mi off a few time for my benefit...
all becux u cared abt mi, u wanted mi to be mature n sensible...
u've ask mi many "if"s and "why"s before sayin it for real becux u also still harbour some hope for mi...
hoping tat my change for nw will be permanent....
u can say all these are assumptions but den again, to mi i feel happy abt it...
cux thru tat i showed u my determination, i wan u to knw how impt u are to mi, how my priority list came to be topsy turvy and big changes happened...
u said u knw mi and ur character are nt the same..tat is also an assumption...
we have lots of things in common..we eat soft dun eat hard, we both are stubborn, we both love each other till madness but controls n try nt to show it all out in case the other party take it for granted, we both cares alot of each other in terms of fallin sick takin med n we both are proud to show n tell others abt each other presence oso afraid of losing one another we guard our status by tryin to clarify and promisin tat no others can cum between us and we will only love each other, tgt forever.

i had a bad start becux i tot playin unreasonable would make u love mi more, guess the wrong move was made...i'm really sorry...i can say as many sorrys to u if u wan mi to..i can even write a 100 sorrys jus to show u how sincerely sorry i am...but nw, i knw wat i wan, i jus wan to be with u, love u, dote on u, pamper u n make u happy. i maybe be a rookie to the things tat i am doing now but i'm sure i'll do so much better with more practices...all i need is jus a chance tat's all..the reason why we drifted is becux u've been busy with work while i've been busy with sch starting n all..n our consecutive everyday meet up sessions are all burnt out..lesser meetings=(
becux of tat when we dunno how the other half spent the day, speculation starts, eventually friction cums in den argument broke out...i admit i have nt been a perfectly gd gf, but i'm changin for the better nw...learnin how to really be a gd gf...i dun need u to be rich, smart or anything, i jus need u to accept me and my love and love mi back..even if it's nt wholeheartedly i accept too cux it's still loving mi...

i knw it's impossible to go back to where we started but..we can always start all over again..frm knwin each other more...time n effort are ur concern feeling it's unfair to mi but i dun care n dun mind cux i jus wanna shower u with wat i have...i dun need anything in return...this is really i swear the very 1st time i'm so determine abt my feelings...i swear it with all my heart...

i love u, no one else can replace u in my heart..
be it 10 yrs down the road or even longer...
sounds so exaggerating but it's wat i have in my tots for days...
i see my future painted with u in it...
tat's all i knw...
i believe in miracles...
i believe god had sent u as a gift to me..
for havin been hurt so many times before...
this is the only time tat god had given mi my true one...
tat is u...D

nitex

mixed feelings...

day 8...

woke up super early at 7..hopin to study the notes and get it fixed in my brain..
still..becux of fever..i couldnt concentrate..
i jus think there goes my HD again....
didnt really have the mood for the whole day becux of flu..
eventually fever subsized..but still moodless...
till when it was at 6pm while i was walking home...suddenly this sms came and my big smile stayed hangin on my face thru out the evening...

but...
hmm...actually i have mix feelings...
when i told u abt the incident in sch...i was hoping for some care or something but den i jus got straight forward and direct feedback, saying why did i tell u all tat n u're nt at all frustrated over the matter becux u dun really wanna care, totally ur style...i mean i uds tat this is the consequence tat i have to face for being stubborn..n indeed after we hung up i was quite sad n moodless...
but den again..i suddenly tot to myself, if u didnt care u wouldnt have told mi all the stuff..if u werent worry u wouldnt have sound so irritated and frustrated..hmm..den i felt better...but tat could also be a misuds-in frm my side becux it might be like wat u said..it's jus a friend kind of thing..

i'm sorry if i disappointed u again...i'm always calling u silly..in fact i should be labelled as the silly and dumb one..i knw i started out late, i knw u're startin to lose faith in mi or maybe had already lose long ago but den to mi, u can say i think too much or wat but i jus think tat u are all out to wanna push mi away frm u by sayin things tat are neg, giving mi cold shoulders n all..but the nature u is not like this..i knw it! u're nt tat kind of person, stop making urself look like tat kind of person, u're nt~! and u nv will..

ur joy and happiness cums frm SIA, ur job nw, as for mine, it cums frm u, when i see u happy, i feel happy too..call mi stupid or dumb, i jus knw tat this person here is a fantastic guy and all i wan is for him to be happy....n most imptly i'm glad i got to be part of his life, lovin him with all my heart n changing for him...

i'm headin to bed..
tmr got lesson at 3.30...
nitex world...

我寂寞寂寞就好
这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到
受不了伤到快疯掉
死不了就还好....

day 7

I disappeared for 24hrs becux i was busy on a mission...

plus my stupid body is starting to show signs of falling sick...

so..expected...for today fever shot up to 38.3 in the mornin...

after k-in all my notes for acc...

the test for today was alrite although i'm afraid tat my HD is no more there cux i miscalculated somethings..

after lesson ended off to see a doc...

mummy tot i was with silly so she was quite alrite and didnt nag much...

doc gave mi lots of med...n the bill burnt a big hole in my pocket...

all pay pls cum in asap so tat i can cover my lost...

had another long chat with silly...

i knw i sound so unreasonable and silly jus nw..but i jus cant help it..cux i only knw tat i wanna protect something dear to mi...i dun wish to lose it..

my stand is firm and clear...u knw wat i wan n wat i need...

cux...."I want nobody nobody but u~! i wan nobody nobody but u!!@#$%$#"

haha...silly it may sound..u can call mi dumb, stupid or silly but i jus wanna do wat i should do and wll do~

long day tmr with test at 12 den after lesson got few hrs to rest before working cux fri sha couldnt make it so shift till tmr work..i jus hope i can tahan...the most fri den rest...

took all med..

off to bed..tmr gotta be up at 7 to study...

nitex