raine means trouble...she is useless...

warning~!!! long wordy post..thoughts of mine...

jus as the title described...
raine really is trouble...
she is useless...
useless & trouble gives u more trouble...

1st & foremost...very sorry to ah man..becux of mi..she suffered lots from her parents's side..
dun worry ah man..i think the solution i propose will be best cux at least the efforts you put in will not go down the drain...most imptly, i wan u to be happy cux wat's most impt is to see my friends happy and smiling=)

FYI..those tat are reading n dun uds...mi & jin man's blogshop will now be jus her's..yup..cux of some small lil details so the solution of separating was made...it's not her fault so...yup..i uds her situation & this is wat i think is best for us=)

for today...nth much was done...slacked at home the whole day...

only till nite when i receive jin man's msg den thoughts started flooding my brain...

looking back 20 going 21 years of my life...i nv did make any accomplishment to do my parents proud..becux i'm always the simple can pass den ok le kind of attitude...
even though at times when failure appears..i'll still be disappointed with myself...

let's see...
back in primary sch..PSLE...i didn't do well..not up to my parents expectations and landed myself in the normal academic stream..i still remember me crying abt it..and my parents consoling me saying it's ok cux i was having fever so it's alrite...but still disappointment was wat i saw on their faces...even my relatives somewhat laughed at me..saying tat i was the only one in the family at tat time to be in the normal stream studying 5 years unlike my other cousins at tat time...

nevertheless...i enjoyed my 5 years of secondary sch life as i met wonderful ppl tat lighten up my days in sch...for O lvl...FYI...i did it twice cux..the 1st one was like shit...fail both maths and sci so no choice...gotta retake it...wasted another year of my life jus like my parents had said at tat time..

it might seems on the surface tat my parents are really disappointed with me but still...they continued to support mi by letting mi retake at private sch CHEC...sch fees is not cheap but yet..they supported...so i did not wan to disappoint them so i workhard...most imptly, i met my best grp of gfs at tat time..thru thick and thin they share my saddness of the bad 1st relationship i have...special thanks to ms jeanie, ms theodora, ms priscilla and ms esther...they really consoled mi especially jean and dora..thanks alot..not jus this but also for studies we suported one another..conclusion..all did well for o lvl and went to different poly but still we keep in contact=) i guess this will be the only small accomplishment i have for now ba...n my parents are appy..

den to my poly life...
1st yr 1st sem...i met ppl tat are fun n nonsensical jus like mi frm other courses in poly but sad to say i did not do well becux i was all the while playing an playing...GPA for 1st yr 1st sem was stuck at 2.4..yes..u can laugh abt it i mean i deserve it frm all the playing...

1st yr 2nd sem..
met the smartest grp of guys frm different courses too n tried pulling up GPA but still...it sucks and landed at 2.25...how stupid can i be? hahha...

den to my 2nd yr 1st sem..
finally meeting ppl of my course and yes..god treated mi well by putting mi in the class full of fun n laughter..my buddies..they are all loved..they tide mi thru all ups n downs..i remember once i was not in such a gd mood n the girls actually got mi chocolates and a card to cheer mi up..really..was very touch by their actions..
i wanna say a big thank you to ms brenda, ms sha sha, ms eka, ms shenny, ms tina, ms irene, ms fanny, mr piang and mr jun ming..u guys really fill my life with fun n laughter n nv needing to worry abt being sad cux u girls and guys will always be there...i really really appreciate god's arrangement for us to meet n trully wanna say sorry to u guys frm the bottom of my hearts becux of me not able to meet u guys up resulting in a gap..most imptly...with their help..my GPA did not dropped further but at least it was maintained..

den to my current class...
2nd yr sem 2...
another great class..with great ppl..
fun fill class...i have a family in this class to..ms jin man, ms audrey, ms yi yin,ms valerie,ms joyin,ms jessie,ms adilah,mr raphael,mr calvin,mr tuck wah and mr redwan~
everyday was spent with laughter n united we were..cracking jokes..disturbing ppl..laughing out loud in the corridor..this bunch of ppl mostly younger den me..except for jessie n tucky..they guided mi thru my sem 2 with facts tat i dun knw n helped mi alot with my work in sch..even thought GPA is not cfm yet but i guess it might be the same or lower or higher but i knw i did my best...

after all the long nonsense i've written..reflecting back...i find that i'm seriously trouble...useless..
nv really contributed much..causing trouble to others..nv did shine trully as a star where i should..all tat is done was jus causing disappointments and troubles to others life...i just think tat god was really nice to have given me the best but i nv did cherish it..work on it..develop it..all i did was jus making a fool of myself n cux-ing disappointment to everyone..so sorry to my parents..ur daughter is really nth but rubbish...

hmm..after this long post...i guess...it might be time out for blogging for the time being...need to really buck myself up..i guess since i'm not naturally smart..i should work double hard like wat my mum says and start on my research for FYP..till den i will blog again..if i have happy things i wan to share..sad things..haha..i think i shall keep it to myself..dun wanna cause u guys to feel weird too after reading sad posts..yup..

tat's all...nitex..
till den i'll blog again~
i love you all..all ppl tat i knw...=)

ps. mr bf..i knw u're reading this...dun worry abt mi...i'll be fine..concentrate on reservice...i'll be awaiting our meet up sessions...love<3